And Then You Cry ‘Victim’

When Autistic adults are ignored or gaslighted or tone policed and told they “shouldn’t be so angry” or they are “not like my child,” then the opportunity to learn from the real autism experts is missed.

It may not be comfortable to lean in – but do it anyway – because the change we want to see in the world begins within… ❤


Image: a blue and black striped pattern background. Text: poem as scribed below image.

When you’re told by those
you claim to be advocating for
that you’re doing it wrong
and then you cry ‘victim’
you’re not listening…

When you talk of acceptance
and why this is what you want
for your Autistic child
and then you don’t extend that
to others who share their neurology
you’re missing the point…

When you say that you want
to change the world
but turn away in discomfort
from the things YOU could do differently
opportunity is lost…

L. Kelley, February 15, 2015


30 Days of Autism is a project designed to fight stigma, promote civil rights, and increase understanding and acceptance for those who process and experience the world differently.

© Leah Kelley, Thirty Days of Autism (2015)

About Leah Kelley, Ed.D.

Leah Kelley, M.Ed, Ed.D., Writer, Consultant, Activist, Speaker, and Educator, working with Teacher Candidates at UBC. Authors blog: 30 Days of Autism. Projects support social understanding, Neurodiversity paradigm, Disability Justice, and connecting Disability Studies in Education(DSE)to Educational Practice. Twitter: @leah_kelley Facebook: 30 Days of Autism: Leah Kelley
This entry was posted in acceptance, Advocacy, advocate, Autism, listening, poem, poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to And Then You Cry ‘Victim’

  1. chavisory says:

    Yup. And it’s really been a banner week this week for people claiming to be hanging out in autistic-led forums because they want to learn and understand, and then complaining when we don’t say what they want to hear.

    If you really want to learn from autistic people, you have to be willing to hear things that aren’t what you think you already know, and you have to be willing to hear things that aren’t what you wanted to hear.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Laura says:

    Thank you for this.


  3. Pingback: Easy Silence Part 2: The Yin and Yang of Privilege and Empowerment | Thirty Days of Autism

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