Easy Silence: I am still learning to communicate

Yesterday I saw a disturbing video posted on facebook – where a child was being forced to say “mama” or make an “mmm” sound.

All the communicative efforts of that little girl were ignored, which was dishonouring of the child. What I saw was a compliance based approach that is destroying of trust and damaging of a relationship this young child should be able to count upon (her parent).

And from an educational perspective the desired behaviour was so narrowly targeted that success was a long shot. That does not build confidence and capacity – that is not how good responsive teaching happens. I suspect that she did not even understand why she finally got the fricken gummy.

Good teaching (and parenting) is a dance – with two (or more) partners…
It is give and take…
It is turn taking…
It is “Here, you take the lead for a while…”
It is “I see you…” “I hear you…” “I understand…”

Here is a post from the 30 Days archives that I think is relevant to consider…

Thirty Days of Autism

I was once working with a child on the autism spectrum… (not H) and this opportunity had me considering, I mean really considering, what it must be like to be him. He had so many challenges and did not use words to communicate. He did communicate though: his actions and his behaviour were his communication, and it was up to the rest of us to figure it out and learn his language.

How often do we have our world, our schools, our expectations set up so that it is those with the social cognitive challenges that are expected to “fit in” and “get it”, instead of having those of us with the social cognitive strength doing the work – or at least a fair part of it?

Our work together was challenging, but often joyful. I was relaxed and counted upon his ability to communicate the pace, and my…

View original post 239 more words

About Leah Kelley

Leah Kelley, MEd., Educator, Parent, Speaker, Social Justice Activist. Writes blog: 30 Days of Autism. Projects support social understanding & neurodiversity paradigm. Co producer of documentary: Vectors of Autism. Twitter: @leah_kelley Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/leahkelley13/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/30-Days-of-Autism-Leah-Kelley/154311301315814
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